YOU ARE NOT ALONE - CD FACTS & ARTICLES
ALL ABOUT CROSSING - WHY / WHO / WHAT - AND WHO CARES - WE ARE NOW IN THE TRANSGENDER REVOLUTION
DEFINITION: Cross-dressing is the wearing of clothing and other effects commonly associated with a gender that is seen as different from the one that is usually presented by the same person. INTRODUCTION: There are many different kinds of cross-dressing and many different reasons why an individual might engage in cross-dressing behavior. For some, cross-dressing may provide an appropriate avenue for self-expression; others may cross-dress for reasons of comfort or fashion. Cross-dressing has also been used extensively in live entertainment for many centuries, while some may also partake in cross-dressing behavior as part of role-play activity or as part of a sexual fetish. Nearly every human society throughout history has in some way formed a set of social norms, standards, viewpoints and even laws that define the type of clothing that is considered appropriate for each gender. Cross-dressing runs significantly counter to those norms. In western society an ambiguity has evolved in more recent times with regard to public attitudes towards the cross-dressing behavior of men in particular. While it was once considered taboo for women to wear clothes that were traditionally associated with men, this is no longer the case and western women are often seen wearing various items of clothing that in the past have been traditionally associated with men. However in most parts of the world it remains socially unacceptable for men to wear clothes that are traditionally associated with women. Society, it seems, permits women to wear jeans and shirts and other more masculine items of clothing, while in contrast, disapproving of any man who wants to wear clothing that has been traditionally associated with women. This inconsistency has ultimately given rise to several socially acknowledged assumptions, namely that only men cross-dress; that cross-dressing behaviour is sexually driven and that cross-dressing behavior is rare. Yet it is possibly more likely that it is these unfounded assumptions combined with the negative social attitudes that have, in fact forced the cross-dressing behaviour of men behind closed doors and subsequently given an impression of secrecy and rarity and through the impression of secrecy, an air of wrongdoing. :
. However one well-respected paper broaching the subject of the prevalence of transsexualism, has suggested that in the United States, conservative estimates of the number of cross-dressing males indicate a prevalence of between two and five percent of all adult males. CAUSES & MOTIVES: There is no definitive answer at present as to why some people exhibit cross-dressing behavior. Some people may begin cross-dressing as young as early childhood yet others may begin later in life. Similarly it is difficult to be certain of the motives of people who cross-dress. The only real proof of motive is that person's own statement. Another problem that many cross-dressers recognize in the attempt to attribute motives for their behavior, is the pathologizing of cross-dressing inherent in this sort of research. Many cross-dressers feel that rather than attributing motives for cross-dressing, research should focus on the reasons why society considers cross-dressing to be unacceptable behavior, or why clothing is gender-segregated at all. UNDERSTANDING CROSS-DRESSING: Many cross-dressers discover their need to cross-dress during childhood. They have no idea why they feel the way they do, yet they often find that the expression of this part of their nature results in reprimand and alienation from parents, family and friends - the people they love and value the most. This can result in the development of unreasonable feelings of unhealthy personal shame. So a lot of cross-dressers become secretive about their cross-dressing and do their best to suppress or deny this essential part of their being. But rarely does the need to cross-dress subside, and continued denial of the expression of this essential part of ones-self can result in severe emotional disturbance. Many cross-dressers ultimately find it impossible and intolerable to exist like this. They feel compelled to learn more about themselves and to share this important aspect of themselves with other significant people in their lives. While some cross-dressers may be content to simply wear the clothing that has been more traditionally associated with a gender different to their own, others who cross-dress may endeavour to project a more complete impression of belonging to another gender. This expression may include mannerisms, speech patterns, and emulation of sexual characteristics. Others may choose to take a mixed approach, adopting some feminine traits and some masculine traits intheir appearance. angelic-obscura.deviantart.com Page 2 o f 4 However it should be noted that a person's sexuality or sexual preference is independent of their need to cross-dress and that natural human sexual diversity exists amongst cross-dressers in the same basic proportions as it does in the widespread population. Likewise cross-dressing should not imply that a person is transsexual. Many cross-dressers are aware of and happy with the sex that they were assigned at birth and have no desire, nor any innate need to undergo any medical or surgical intervention to alter this. FOR LOVED ONES: The news that a loved-one cross-dresses may come as a surprise and may also evoke lots of different emotions. It's good to know however that there is support and options available to help you gain knowledge to understand your loved-one's disclosure. The process of disclosing can often be stressful for those concerned, however it should be remembered that it is likely that this disclosure has been the result of years of soul searching, frustration and anguish and that your loved one has disclosed to you because they love and trust you. Among the most effective approaches to understanding how your loved-one's cross-dressing may or may not effect you or your way of life are knowledge and communication. Before forming any opinions, coming to any agreements or embarking on any course of action, it is hoped that those involved have sought literature on the subject and discussed this with each other and a counsellor. The Gender Centre provides a free counselling service to all individuals involved in a disclosure of this nature, whether it be the cross-dresser themselves, their loved one, or perhaps a combined counselling session would be more beneficial. To arrange an appointment with the Gender Centre Counsellor, please call (02) 9569 2366, Monday to Thursday 9:00am – 4:30pm. The Gender Centre also provides a library service containing many books and other information about the issues that may affect cross-dressers and their loved-ones. Cross-dressers and their loved-ones are also welcome to attend regular events held at the Centre.
CROSS DRESSING FROM MALE TO FEMALE
Transvestites and cross-dressing
A transvestite is a person who likes to wear the clothes of the opposite sex. Who is most likely to cross-dress?
What is a transvestite?
A transvestite is a person who likes to wear the clothes of the opposite sex.
Some dictionaries add the words 'for sexual pleasure', but this is not really true because many cross-dressers just feel comfortable – rather than sexually aroused – when they wear the clothing of the other sex.
Who is most likely to cross-dress?
Some women dress up as men, but it's overwhelmingly men who like to dress as women.
Are transvestites gay?
Recent research has confirmed that most transvestites are not homosexual. However, some gay guys certainly like a spot of ‘drag’ – particularly in cabarets.
Do transvestites want to be women?
In contrast, men who are uncomfortable about being male, or who feel they are not male inside, are said to have gender dysphoria. (Dysphoria means a chronic feeling of unease or great discontent.)
If this unhappiness and discomfort at being male leads them to take steps to change gender surgically, they are then called trans-sexual.
Some women also have gender dysphoria and seek to change sex, but they are a small minority of trans-sexuals.
Why do men cross-dress?
No one really knows why some men have this desire. Many men who cross-dress describe it as an outlet for stress, and they tend to want to dress up more during times of tension at work or at home.
Some men get relief from tension simply by wearing women's lingerie (often silk) under their exterior male clothing. These guys often go no further than that with their cross-dressing.
Most transvestites, however, want to appear as female as possible in their outer garments and want to wear elegant make-up and pleasant perfumes.
Men who cross-dress are not mentally ill. Indeed, psychologists in the USA have decided that cross-dressing comes within the normal range of male sexuality unless it becomes a compulsive obsession.
Not every transvestite is a secret transvestite. The well-known medical journalist and writer Dr Vernon Coleman has often written about the enjoyment of wearing women's underwear.
Some individuals make their livings as transvestite artists (drag queens) on stage and in clubs. Other performers cross-dress for reasons such as seeking to break down gender barriers – reportedly including the famous stand-up comedy artist Eddie Izzard.
Telling other people
Should a transvestite reveal to his friends, family or even his partner that he is a cross-dresser?
This has to be done very carefully.
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Many transvestites feel frustrated that they have to keep this part of their personality a secret, and sometimes their frustration erupts and leads to very sudden and unwise confessions in the workplace. But many colleagues are simply not ready to hear that Gerry becomes Geraldine at weekends.
Telling your wife or partner is also difficult – though some women are extremely understanding about cross-dressing.
Our advice to anyone thinking of telling a romantic partner, or indeed a colleague, sibling, friend or parent, is to first seek advice from one of the excellent support groups listed at the end of this factsheet.
Many men do tell their partners, and some of these partners enter into the spirit of the whole thing and actually help their men to dress as women. These guys are very lucky as their partners frequently stop them from making horrendous style mistakes!
One of us interviewed such a couple on a television program called 'The Good Sex Guide Late'. This husband and wife in their 30s used to go out clubbing together as 'sisters' - heavily made-up and dressed in party clothes.
The wife really liked her husband's alter ego and said that his female side was so sensitive and loving that sharing it had enriched their marriage.
But few women are quite as happy with their man's transvestite behavior as she was.
Sex and cross-dressing
A number of male transvestites want to go a bit further than dressing up and going out – they want to make love to women when they're 'acting female'.
In our experience, the majority of wives and girlfriends are definitely not happy with this scenario.
On the other hand, some women do find that having sex with a man who is made-up and dressed as a woman can feel quite a turn-on.
But far more females find the whole idea quite alarming and off-putting, and no man should attempt to force his partner into sex if she falls into this category.
Again, this is something to take advice about from people who have experience in this matter.
Dealing with guilt
Transvestites can be very calm and happy about their cross-dressing, especially if they belong to a good support group, have an interesting social life as their female persona, and have friends or family who accept their need to cross-dress.
We have recently found that the vast majority of guys like this never even think about having therapy, because they find their lives fine as they are.
However, men who feel overloaded with guilt should always seek counselling. They will invariably feel much better for talking over the situation with someone who is non-judgmental.
How to cross-dress
If you want to cross-dress in public you should be convincing. Many people cannot, or will not, understand why a man should want to dress as a woman, so it's important that men who do this make as good a job of it as possible.
Unfortunately, many men who cross-dress fail to look like a real woman. As a result, people snigger when they see them and sometimes act in a very hostile way. Sadly, cross-dressing can provoke violence from stupid and aggressive males.
Learning the art of dressing as a woman can make life much easier for a transvestite.
Support groups can provide advice on choosing the right clothes and make-up, but start by keeping things simple.
Avoid high heels, especially with sling-backs, until you have mastered walking in women's footwear. And avoid glittery cocktail dresses until you have practiced moving, standing and sitting as a woman.
Some shops specialize in supplying women's clothing and shoes in men's sizes and in helping men to perfect their female look. Many sell a good range of wigs.
As a general rule, shop in a place that is liberal and accepting of different lifestyles. Clearly, if you live in a small town, you will excite comment if you shop for yourself in the local women's shoe or dress shop.
The law
Cross-dressing is not an offence in the USA, even under the recent Sexual Offences Act of 2003, which contains a seemingly inexhaustible list of sexual misdemeanors.
Nor is it illegal in most other western countries – though you could run into serious problems in many developing nations.
Thirty years ago it was quite common for the British police to arrest a man who dared to go out in a dress.
It is now generally accepted that if a man encounters the police while dressed as a woman, he is as entitled as any other law-abiding citizen to courtesy and consideration.
ARE YOU ALONE ? Google FACTS AND FIGURES AND MYTHS
THA FACTS ARE NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA OF HOW MANY OF US ARE OUT THERE IN OUR SOCIETY.
RECENT STUDIES ESTIMATE ABOUT 50% OF ALL MALES THINK ABOUT THIS - ABOUT 30% HAVE WORN FEMALE CLOTHES AT LEAST ONCE - AND AT LEAST 10% CROSS DRESS REGULARLY.
MAIN REASON - MOST cross dress privately - alone - with a fear of discovery. So since majority of males keep this very private we will never know the % or # of males who enjoy changing from male to female persona - but we do know for sure the # is growing each new year as our society becomes more acceptable to different lifestyles and preferences.
WE KNOW FROM VISITORS TO OUR SITE AND INQUIRIES FOR SERVICES - IT IS MUCH MORE THAN EXPECTED.
Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there. That’s why I decided to put together a post debunking some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the BIGGEST myths of all:
Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
Uh, NO.
I created this site to be a welcoming place for transgender women, crossdressers, and those on all sides of the gender spectrum. But as you know, these are distinct groups and the terms aren’t interchangeable.
Here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start HRT.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they?
It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are infinite gender expressions and all are valid!
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